Russian Misery Tourism (c)
for
the Asshole Traveller 

Support Russian bureacracy (help me make a few kopecks acting as an accessory - visa support and such)

Burn more fuel (

Eat more

Drink more

Occupy more space

Copulate MORE

Feel superior

Feel yourself more important

Get away with more

(expand on the "more" scene")

You are a disaster, a child of a universe that began with a big bang, proceeded to expand, and is now heading to its ugly end.  You too need to expand and possess before you meet yours. You crave to stretch, reach, and incorporate.  I understand your true needs. This knowledge makes me the ultimate provider to look after your Russian travel needs.  Let's drop political correctness. No need to pussyfoot around. You are heading here to consume. You've lifted your fat butt - or skinny or full of pimples or whatever  - firmly believing that here, in the land of plenty, you'll get more than you deserve. Let's not dwell on the meaning - or lack of such - of "deserve".  I'll help you get what you want, whatever it is. More of it. With me you can be honest. Ultimately and brutally honest. Or, if you wish, you may continue hiding behind polite phrases like "I am here to experience a different culture and to enrich my blah-blah-blah." I still know what you truly and really need. And you know that I know. So whip out your checkbook, send me a deposit, and let's get started to help you grab the most.

 

Buy more souvenirs

(If you are a simpleton of particularly cosmic dimention you are invited for an exciting trop to .... for .... shopping.

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